(An audio recording (English) of this blog is available at the bottom of the page) Click here.
It’s amazing how our opinions on older versions of ourselves and the things that we’ve produced can really change with time.
Whilst getting this website up to scratch recently and adding content – some of which is now a few months old, I felt myself swaying between being really proud and also a bit embarrassed by it all.
And I honestly hate the fact that I do feel that way, because it doesn’t come from my own true opinions of myself and what I’ve done – it comes from a very warped point of view, which is shaped by what I see other performers posting and sharing.
I often see on social media especially, people clearing out their old posts, especially as they get more followers or become more successful – and to me, that feels like a shame.
I know we’ve all posted some embarrassing, cringe-worthy content in the past, but I feel it’s so important when climbing the ranks to show where you came from.
The gushing posts about people you met, or projects you worked on. The some what silly content you would post as you tried to build a career for yourself and become more noticed on instagram or facebook.
Whilst at times, I might feel a bit silly about things I’ve made, I’m still incredibly proud of everything I’ve achieved. It’s very easy to sit back and lament your current situation and therefore not do anything to further yourself, and so on the days when I’ve pushed through doubt and fear and posted or created something, I’m showing myself, and indeed anyone else that cares to follow, that you can get through it all, you just have to keep doing what you love.
When you’re in a position of social media privilege –with a large following or fans as such, you will amongst those people have some who are solely looking up to you. Whether it be on a personal level – ie how to navigate through the quagmire of daily life, or they’re looking to you as an example of that career and hoping to follow you one day. These people look to you, and whether you have 10 or 10 thousand followers, it feels like a responsibility to show the bad with the good, show the fails as well as the successes, show the early low engagement content along with the viral sensations.
And of course it can make you feel vulnerable, somewhat more open to criticism all because you didn’t just emerge from the womb as as an all singing, all dancing internet sensation with a huge following. But does it really matter?
Ultimately there will always be someone, somewhere who doesn’t like what you’re doing. Whether it’s out of jealousy, or out of some fake sense of self importance. You simply can’t please everyone. Only yourself. And whilst I think it’s important to be fully aware of the impact you have on those around you when posting on social media, when it comes to covers, photos, practice videos – all of it, it’s important to show the whole journey, and not just the bits that you now deem to be ‘cool’ enough.
Who are you trying to hide your true self from? Why do your early moments, or your mundane daily routines only seem worth something when you are in a position of influence and power. Why does the ordinary plate of food, or innocuous practice cam of someone with 50 thousand followers mean more to us than anyone else?
It would be very easy to turn this into a huge post about the futilities of social media followings and building up false idols but perhaps that’s a bigger topic for another day.
So back to my original point whilst some people may come and look at some of my videos and think – “My goodness, what on earth is she doing dressing up and throwing her arms about, making videos” etc, I stand behind my content; stand behind my craziness.
My brand is my talent and my personality – and as long as my videos and photos can show the building of both of those, then they are just as important when I’m at the top, as they are when I’m starting at the bottom.
Don’t forget to come and follow me on Instagram for more regular day to day nonsense! @stefani_keogh.
Thanks very much and goodbye for now.
Stefani Keogh 